Chapter 35

Caitlin's Point of View ;)

Sidney and I  spent hours talking on his bed before we both passed out in each others' arms. I never changed into the clothes he bought me. Thank heavens I took a minute to text my mom and tell her I'd be at Sidney's overnight, she was worried when she got home. I guess I forgot to leave a note.
I wake up at like 3:00 AM sitting straight up against Sidney who is leaning against the wall. I lift his arm off of me, attempting to get out without waking him up. My jeans are digging into my waist, I need to pee, and I want comfy clothes. Sidney stirs, then wakes up.
"Caitlin!?" He asks, finally opening his eyes.
"What?" I ask him, on my way to the other side of the room where my bag of new clothes is.
"What are you doing?" He tries to look at me through the darkness but failing.
"I'm putting on some pajamas. And I gotta pee." I say, laughing a little bit.
"What time did we fall asleep?" He asks me.
"I dunno, a little bit ago, I assume. I can't sleep very long in jeans." I say, happy to be slipping into something a little less tight.
"Oh," he says, getting up too. I can't see him but I hear his pants hit the ground and the light on his bedside table flicks on. I'm blinded by it for a moment, and when I open my eyes again Sidney's right beside me.
"Hey," I say, turning to kiss him, then breaking it off because I have to pee so bad. I leave the room and scamper down the hall to the bathroom, glad the floors aren't creaky. The bathroom, like the rest of the house, is super nice. I hurry and get out as fast as I can to get back to Sidney. He's already back in bed, laying with the covers slightly folded back for me to get in too. We weren't under the blankets before and I was cold, despite the fact that it's summer. I'm all too glad to climb under the covers with him now. He kisses me when I crawl into his arms and we lay there talking again.
"I Love You," he finally murmurs after a long silence. I had almost been asleep and he woke me up. After trying to say that I love him too, I realize he's already asleep and I tighten my grip around him. I love Sidney. And that's a fact.

Ruthanne's Point Of View <3

I slept most of the day away, finally realizing at about 5:00 that I might actually be sick. Kris's mom wakes me up for dinner. Just for me she made homemade chicken soup, which is delicious, As always. I'm jealous of her cooking skills and over-compliment her on the food. Then, I return to my couch and take another short nap. I'm feeling gross when I wake up and head upstairs to take a shower.
Looking in the mirror, I'm a mess. My hair is falling out of the pony tail, and I'm embarrassed, hoping that I didn't look like this for dinner. After my shower I don't bother to change into normal clothes. I put on a different pair of sweatpants and dig through Kris's pile of clothes to find another shirt that smells like him. I'm lonely already and the night is not even half gone.
I decide that if it's not cold and dark outside already, I might try and go out and lay by the pool. My stomach is churning and I feel like I'm going to vomit again. Luckily I'm in the bathroom and the toilet is nearby, so I don't make a mess this time. God, what's wrong with me? The really scary thing is, pregnancy is the first thing that runs through my mind. Oh my mother would kill me.
Outside, it's ok, so I stay by the pool for a while. Kris's mom lets the dog out and he sits by me, keeping good company. I pet him for a while, watching the last remaining sunlight dance on the surface of the pool, then decide to go back in. I'm so bored, and nervous, and I feel like I've wasted the day away, sleeping.
At 9:00 I give in to a little vow I made to myself. I had promised myself I wouldn't bother (of course he wouldn't call it that. He always seems  happy to hear from me) Kris while he was away. I didn't want to text him, call him, anything. But I do it anyways.
Krissss.. How has it gone? Love you. :)
I send the text and his reply comes almost instantly. Finally. I was waiting for you to give in to that. lol. It went well. I forgot how early Luc's parents go to bed, so I'm just hanging out in the guest room. How was your day? Love you. :)
His texts always make me so happy. He's such a sweetie. I had a decent day. I slept most of the time.Your momma made me some Chicken noodle soup. The Best Ever.  I hit send, leaving the getting sick details of my day out.
Are you feeling better? Kris replies. Go figure that'd be the first thing he wants to know.
I got sick again. No big deal though. I think I'm fine. I reply, trying to sound nonchalant despite the fact that I'm scared of what might be wrong with me. I thought I'd gotten another text, but really my phone was ringing. I open it, expecting to read his reply and instead saw the Call Duration clock ticking away.
"Hey," Kris says as soon as I put the phone to my ear.
"Oh. Jeez." I say, my voice sounding surprisingly scratchy and sick. "You scared me for a second. I thought I had another text."
"Sorry. I miss you." He says.
"I miss you too," I whine.
"You don't sound too good." Kris notices. I knew he would. He's always so concerned about what might be wrong with me.
"I'm fine," I say, although I feel like crap right now. "Hey I think I'm gonna go to bed now." I say, but what I really mean is, I've gotta puke. "I love you, goodnight!!!" I say into the phone, jumping up and running to the bathroom. I don't have time to close it before I puke into the toilet again. I hope Kris didn't hear it and I close the phone as soon as my body is done heaving.
Sure enough, my phone rings again. Kris must have heard it. "hello?" I say innocently enough, washing my hands yet again.
"Ruthanne, did you just get sick again?" He says, sounding worried.
"yes. But it's nothing. don't worry." I say as I wipe my mouth.
"I hope so. I wanna see you better when I come home tomorrow." He says. "Now I've got to go to bed, for real," he laughs. "I love you."
"night," I say, closing my phone and throwing it on the bed. I change my clothes again, somehow finding another one of Kris's dirty shirts and collapse onto his bed, falling asleep in no time.

Chapter 34

Caitlin's Point of View.;)

I didn't realize how hungry I was until after I had downed half my plate of spaghetti. The guys were basically done with their food, and I am going to need a box. They were basically shoveling whatever was on their plate before, into their mouths.
Lunch wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, I had a lot of fun. I'm finding it easier to get along with Sidney again as we're spending more time together and Max can hardly look at me. Like, when he talks to me specifically, he's playing with the salt shaker or something, looking like he's totally concentrated on it.
While we were eating we ended up playing the question game, just asking each other some crazy random questions. Most of my questions weren't difficult, or anything too weird, like I was hoping. Except one time Marc Andre asked me how much I loved Sidney. I had to shove a bite of spaghetti in my mouth and pretend there was a bad taste to hide the face I was making. When I finally swallowed I said, "this much!" And gave him a big sloppy kiss on the cheek. Marc Andre clapped and Max reluctantly joined in. I can see how it would be hard to watch the person you like plant a kiss on someone else's cheek.
After I finish up what I can eat, I get the box I need and Max pays for the bill, leaving a nice tip for our waitress. We walk out of the restaurant happily. Even me.

Back at Mario's, Jordan Staal and Tyler Kennedy have showed up and I let out another sigh when I notice them. "What?" Sidney turns toward me.
I shake my head, not even wanting to admit to myself that I wanted alone time with Sidney. "Nothing." I smile and we head back to the room where the guys are hanging out. It's so much easier to be around everyone when they're distracted. I'm always afraid they'll talk to me and I won't know what to say.  So, the guys are playing video games. What's new?
Sidney stays with me while the rest of them sit around the room, all facing the TV. I cuddle into Sidney's shoulder, glad to be over the feeling of mistrust around him, and glad that Max is facing the other way. I can't stand the look of pain on his face when Sidney and I are together. I tell myself that I need to get over it if I want to even be friends with either of them.
Around 7:00, the guys start to leave. Of course, Max is the last to go. He kept standing around trying to make conversation, but it kept getting awkward and he finally gave up. "Finally," Sidney says, nuzzling his nose under my ear. "I thought they'd never leave." he whispers.
I smile, enjoying the moment while nobody's around. It feels so empty, without everyone laughing. Mario walks into the room and I notice him before Sidney.
"Sid,"
"Yeah?" He straightens up quickly, surprised.
"Dinner's ready." Mario says, leaving back to the kitchen already.
Nathalie made some really good smelling casserole thing. I can't say it looks good, cause it just looks like somebody threw up into the pan. "This stuff is sooo good," Sidney says. I have no clue how he could possibly be hungry after everything he ate earlier, but, somehow, being a guy, he is and he heaps a huge pile of the stuff onto his plate. I take a little bit more realistic portion of the casserole and pass it on to one of the kids beside me.
"So, Caitlin, you're staying over tonight?" Nathalie looks at me as though she might be Sidney's real mother. I guess if he's living with her, she's got the right. It would be no fun to be blamed for something Sidney did cause he was living in your house.
"Yup," I say after chewing a delicious bite of the casserole.
Nathalie and Mario both nod in unison, then go back to eating. Everyone else at the table is silent, and stuffing their faces. I remember my great grandmother always used to say that was the sound of good food, and silence at the dinner table was almost always a compliment to the cook. I miss her.
After dinner, Sidney takes me up to his room where we hang out, talking and talking for hours about nothing in particular. It's so nice to be with him again. It's horrible when things are strained. I make a mental note to myself not to get so overwhelmed and freak out at the next thing he does wrong. This is so much better than what I put myself through this past week.

Ruthanne's Point of View <3

I wake up way before the thought ever enters Kris's mind. I'm nervous about him leaving. I roll back over into his arms the way we fell asleep. My movement wakes him up and he looks at me, confused. Normally, I don't wake up all that early, but when I'm stressed, or worried or something, I can't sleep.
"What's wrong?" He asks, as I stare dumbly back into his face. He touches my cheek and I see a tear on his finger as he pulls it away.
"Nothing," I say. I didn't even know I was crying and I still can't figure out why.
Kris just stares back at me, looking concerned. "I love you," he finally says, then he kisses me on the cheek, squeezes me to his chest and tries to go back to sleep.
I lay there, wide awake and afraid to move while he's asleep. I don't want him to be tired later. "Are you still awake?" He asks after a couple of minutes.
"Yeah," I say quietly. He looks down at me again.
"I'll be back tomorrow. And you can still decide to come with me," he says, knowing exactly what I'm upset about.
"I know."  I say. But I'm too stubborn to decide to go with him, even though that seems like the easier choice now.  "I've gotta pee," I say, an excuse to get out of an awkward conversation,  and wiggle my way out of his arms and out of the bed. I hear Kris sigh behind me, but I just run to the bathroom.
I thought I was going to the bathroom to get out of the conversation, but upon reaching the toilet, I suddenly feel like vomiting. Kris comes running in to save the day as I'm getting sick all over the place. Hunched over the toilet with Kris behind me, I feel uglier than ever and I'm embarrassed about the mess.
"Are you ok?" He asks, kneeling down beside me after I'm done and flushing the toilet. I nod, not sure why I got sick and lean into his open arms. "I can cancel..." He says reluctantly after a couple of minutes.
"don't." I say firmly. Although I would be happy to have him here for the rest of the day while I'm sick, I don't want him to cancel his plans. At least while I'm sick I won't have to talk. I can nap on the couch all day.
Kris hugs me again then gets up and turns around out of the bathroom. He comes back with a fresh pair of pajama pants and one of his old t-shirts for me. While I'm changing he gets my toothbrush and toothpaste ready and he hands them to me after I finish. Kris is the best, there's no denying it. He stands behind me, looking at us in the mirror as I brush my teeth.
It's 5:30 in the morning and I feel like sleeping again, but Kris's alarm was set for 5:45 so there's no point in laying back down. "You are going to take it easy today." Kris says, leading me downstairs.
"Yes, Father." I say as we reach the bottom.
"I'm serious! You're sick. My  mom will take care of you. Here." He says, helping me lay down on the couch. I really don't need all this help, but Kris is so concerned for me.
A moment later I hear someone else coming down the stairs. Kris runs over to him mom as she reaches the bottom and tells her about me being sick. "That's too bad," she says. "we'll run you to the air port, then I'll come back and take care of her." Kris's mom smiles reassuringly at him, probably knowing deep down that I'm absolutely fine.
Kris's step dad comes downstairs and stares at me for a moment before getting into the fridge. I'm sure I'm a mess, my hair's down and tangled and all over the place. I'm wearing ratty pajamas.
Kris disappears into the downstairs bathroom and I lay here on the couch, staring at the ceiling. I put my hair into a ponytail while he's gone and I wait for him to reappear.He comes back with a big old blanket that looks really warm and soft.  He's not nearly as graceful tucking me into the couch as he normally is, but it's a nice gesture anyways. "I love you," he says, reminding me of those movies where the girl's dying and the guy has to leave her for some important reason or another. Jeez I hope I'm not dying. I smile to myself and close my eyes when he kisses me saying "See you tomorrow."

Chapter 33

Ruthanne's Point of View<3

The week of media and funeral business flies by.  I end up not going to a lot of it, I've been kind of sick. Kris keeps trying to convince me to go with him to the Bourdons' house.  I keep telling him no, that it's not my place. I don't want to go and make things awkward.
Caitlin texted me the other day saying she wasn't sure what was going on between her and Sidney. I replied but I haven't gotten any further information. I worry about her. I check my phone again, laying by the pool with Kris.
"You check that a lot.." He points out. "something wrong?"
"Caitlin," I say slowly. I know he doesn't like all this drama.
"figures. What now?" He asks, sounding kind of annoyed.
"Sidney. Max. Brittny. Why can't things just work out for her?" I whine.
Kris smiles half-heartedly. "They will. Eventually."
"I hope so. I guess the other night, they went out to a club and Sidney tried to make her jealous." I sigh. "That really gets to her. She's an insecure mess."
"Sidney's like that," is Kris's indifferent reply. He tries to be nice about the whole thing, but he can't hide how much it annoys him.
"Does he know about her and Max?"
"No.. he would have said something to me. He tells us all everything." Kris says. "what's gone on between them really isn't a big deal."
"Except that he still likes her. And vice-versa."
"Yeah. Sidney might not like that too much. He's awfully protective." Kris half laughs, his crooked smile making my heart thud a little bit quicker. I'm glad I've found a guy that I can absolutely be happy with. Caitlin always seems to get herself into stupid messes like this. She's too lovable is her problem.
"Well then let's just hope he doesn't find out." I say, rolling over onto my back, feeling the sun's warmth wash over me. I love the sun, but I'm going to have awful tan lines from this tank top. "let's go inside." I look at Kris.
He stands up and puts his hand out to help me up. I'm a little bit off balance as I'm standing up, and Kris has a good hold on my hand. All of a sudden I feel him pulling me toward the pool and I go flying into the water. I scream, of course, and Kris stands there laughing.
"KRIS!" I shriek.
He laughs again, harder and stretches his shirt over his head and jumps in with me. "Sorry baby." He says, walking over to me. I smile as he puts his arms around me and kisses me. I wouldn't classify this as swimming weather, but the water feels nice.
I glance up and see his mom looking out the sliding glass doors at us. She's smiling, of course. I smile back at her and Kris turns around, dragging me with him. He blushes a deep shade of red and I laugh at him. He's so embarrassed every time his mom sees something. I touch his face, it's hot from when he blushed.
"Why are you so embarrassed?" I tease him.
"She's always watching!" He says, glaring at the doors where his mother no longer stands.
"uh. not really. You just do cute stuff when she is." I laugh at him. My perfect straight hair is all limp and wet now, and it's going to curl later, but I don't care. I'm having way too much fun to worry about that kind of thing.  I don't mean to, but I let out a shiver and Kris notices.
"cold?" He looks at me.
"Kinda."
"Let's go inside then," he says. I glare at him and he carries me out of the pool. He drops me off by the cabinet on the side of their deck and pulls out a towel for each of us. I wrap mine around me and lean on him. We walk inside and I run quickly up to his room, trying not to make a huge watery mess. Once I'm dried and changed and my hair is combed, I walk back downstairs. Of course Kris beat me. He hasn't got as much to do in order to look beautiful. I sit on his lap and bother him, poking him in the side. He eventually has enough and lifts me off of him.
His mom and dad are sitting on the love seat pretending to watch TV while we're messing around. Kris's dog comes over and jumps on my lap, getting in the way of me doing anything else that might annoy Kris right now. He laughs evilly and pats the dog on the head. I sigh and bang my head on the back of his couch, hitting the piece of wood under the cushion.
"OW!" I yelp. Kris can't help but laugh before he asks if I'm ok.
We spend the rest of the night just picking on each other like this. Today is Friday and tomorrow is his trip out to Luc's parents.

"Will you pleasseeee come with me tomorrow?" He whines while I'm brushing my teeth.
"Kris." I look at him, not wanting to get into this right now. We've been over it a million times. If they're like his 2nd parents, why doesn't he want to go alone?
"I'm sure they'd love to meet you!" He says.
"It would still be awkward for me to be there.  I never knew Luc, or them." To tell the truth I'd never even heard of Luc Bourdon until Kris told me about his death. Some hockey fan I am.
"fine." he says, plopping down on the end of the bed, pouting like a little kid. I walk over and kiss him.
"Just cause I want to spend the day here with your parents doesn't mean I don't love you." I whisper, not really wanting to spend the day with his parents. That could get awkward, and weird. But I think it beats the alternative of going to the Bourdons' house and seeing Kris get upset all over again.
"you don't really want to stay here," Kris says, glaring at me.
"Yes I do," I lie, my eyes giving me away.
"Liar liar," Kris teases. I stick out my tongue, get up and go to my side of the bed.
"whatever," I say, pulling the covers up to my chin and staring at the ceiling. The truth is, I dread the thought of staying here with his parents. Yes, I have gotten to know them better over the past week, but I always feel it necessary to make conversation, and things get awkward quickly. "night." I say to Kris. He's still sitting on the end of the bed, taking off his socks or something. He sighs and throws the socks into a heap of our dirty clothes before turning out the lights.
"good night."

Caitlin's Point of View. ;)

I had a hard time sleeping through the night,  but I wake up at 9:00 feeling refreshed, at least.  It's been a few days since Sidney and I have actually seen each other and I'm feeling quite lonely, surprisingly.
I had taken a shower before going to sleep and my hair is laying in crazy curls and waves when I look in my vanity mirror.
I jump when my phone buzzes right next to me.
Hey. Haven't heard from ya in a while. Kris just left... what's up? It's from Ruthanne. I smile, glad it's not Max or Sidney. Or Brittny, God forbid.
I just got up. I found out Max still likes me. Brittny calls and leaves no messages. I'm an emotional mess, and the one time I feel like talking about it, you're not here. How's yer trip been? I write,  sighing as I hit the send button.
Her reply comes in no time. Wow. I can just imagine what it's like. My trip has been sooo amazing! I went sightseeing the other day and Montreal is just beautiful. I took lotsa pictures! ;) I can't help but smile at her excitement. How I love Ruthanne. She always knows how to make someone smile when they're feeling down.
Yay! you better show them to me.. Glad you're having such a good time.  Wish I could see Montreal. :P  I send it to her, truly wishing I could.  If I hadn't been here, or I had been doing something else, things may have turned out a little differently.
You will, someday. Is her reply. She knows what I'm talking about.
I'm gonna go shower or something. I say, even though I already did that last night. I'm just not in the mood to talk, to anyone really. My phone buzzes again before I can even walk out the door.
Another text. From Sidney. God. I sigh, opening it.
 Hey, lovely. Whatcha doin' today?  Is what it reads.
My parents are out and I was planning on doing absolutely nothing.. You?  I reply, still not in the mood to have a conversation, but not feeling rude enough to ignore him, or lie. I love how he talks to me like everything's been fixed. but I still don't trust him.
Nothing.. you want to come over? Like, nobody's here.  Is his reply. Just what I expected. I laugh to myself. That's what I would say if I were him.
Nobody as in none of the guys? haha, sure. What time? I laugh out loud. There's almost always part of the team at Mario's. Even this early in the morning. I hit send and walk to the counter to make some coffee.
That's just about right. Now. Pleassseeee. I miss you. 
I can't help but smile when I just reply. Ok. <3 and go to my car, coffee cup in hand. It's so hard to stay mad at Sidney. He's just too darn cute. I get to Mario's relatively quickly, if you're thinking about the average 35 minute drive.  Sidney greets me at the door with a quick smooch and we walk to the bar where there's cinnamon rolls sitting out on a plate.
"Did you eat breakfast yet?" He asks.
"I'm hardly awake," I laugh.
He hugs me and grabs two plates. We talk about nothing in particular over some delicious cinnamon rolls that Nathalie made.  "These are sooo good. Compliments to the chef."
Sidney laughs at me, giving me a sticky kiss on the cheek. I wipe it off, sticking my tongue out at him. I think it's gross, but he's being nice, so I don't say anything. He leads me up to his room where we slept that night before the cruise.
"I love your room." I smile, jumping into his bed and laying flat on my back.
"me too?" He laughs, sitting right next to my face. "You are so weird. You know that?"
"hah." I laugh, sitting back up to lean on his shoulder.
"Would your parents care if you stayed over here tonight? Do you want to?" I shrug my shoulders. My mom loves Sidney, so she probably wouldn't care, but, I don't have any clothes.
"I don't have any clothes." I say finally.
Sidney sighs. "We could go shopping."
"I also do not have money on me." I say, another . He knows I hate it when he buys everything. But he loves to spoil me. I sigh.
"A couple outfits. Come on Caitlin. Pleasseeee."
"Fine." I give in. SIdney's one for planning ahead I guess, because it's hardly hit 10:30 and he wants me to spend the night. He kisses me and stands up, dragging me with him.
"I love you." He says. I just lean into him and let him hug me. He grabs his wallet and we start the drive to the nearest store. I make him stop at Target, because it won't look weird for him--a guy-- to follow me around in the clothing section, and hopefully some female fanatic won't come chasing him. There's really a lot more people who recognize him in Pittsburgh.
I'm really not into it, so he picks most of the clothes and critiques them when I show him from the dressing room.
"These ones, definitely." He says, pointing to the pair of pink sweats I had in my right hand.
"K." I smile and set them in the cart. "This is enough," I say. He talked me into 4 shirts (Because I was just too cute in them, I guess) and 3 pairs of pants.
"But this is fun!" Sidney says, holding up another shirt from the rack. I just stare at him.
"I'm just going to pretend that didn't scare me," I giggle, pushing the cart to the checkout lane nearest us. He pretends to pout when we get to the counter. "It's only one night, Sid! How many shirts do I need? Knowing me, I'd end up wearing one of yours the whole time anyways."
He smiles, and pays for the clothes. The lady cashier stands staring, obviously recognizing Sidney. She finally snaps out of it and hands us back the plastic bag and receipt.
"You get that everywhere you go, don't you?" I say as we're leaving the store.
"Kinda." He winks at me. I get that fluttery feeling in my stomach again. The one that I used to get just by watching one of his interviews on tv.
We get back to Mario's and a couple of the guys are there, hanging out in their favorite room. I can hear them yelling at each other, and can pick out a couple specific voices. Max, and Marc Andre. I sigh, louder than I meant to and Sidney looks at me.
"What?" He asks, starting up the stairs.
"Nothing." I shake my head like I didn't even sigh. Max is here. I wonder if he knows I'm here. Probably not, I decide, still following Sidney back up to his room.
"There, you've got clothes." He says, setting the bag down.
"Thanks Sid." I hug him.
"Ok Caitlin, what's wrong? Are you still mad at me? Are you depressed!?" He looks at me, confused.
"Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired!" I say, although I do feel a bit depressed. Sidney hugs me.
"You're just so...different." He says, still holding me to his chest.
"I'm sorry," I say, looking up at him pathetically, then looking down at the floor. I'm just not really feeling the same things for him anymore.
"do you want to stay tonight?" He asks. I'm still looking down, but I can feel him staring at me. I tell him yes, even though I'm very confused about how I feel at this point. " A couple of the guys are here, do you wanna go hang out?"
"Sure," I say, knowing Max is here and forcing myself to want to be in the same room as him. I just feel like I'll be the dead giveaway to Sidney. Like, he'll figure it out when I'm acting awkward around Max. I'm not good at hiding my feelings.
We head downstairs to hang out and Max's jaw drops when he sees me coming through the door. "did you spend the night here?" He mouths, looking astonished while Sidney's looking the other way, at Marc Andre. I shake my head quickly. He sighs in relief and goes back to his relaxed position on the couch. Could he really care that much?
Sid and I sit on the same couch as Max, me in between them. Go figure. Max tries not to stare at me and I can tell Sidney's still clueless and trying to keep his hands off of me. I keep brushing his hand off my leg. We're having a good time when Max says. "You guys hungry for lunch? I'll buy."  I nod quickly, wanting nothing more than to get out of this room, from between these two guys.
"Sure," Marc says. Sidney shrugs. I think eating lunch with the three guys will be awkward, and I know they'll do a lot of teasing, but somehow, I think it'll be better than this room.